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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Have you been dating? Online?

I was once part of online dating. After months and years of constantly talking to the same person I met online, I finally ended-up to marry him and eventually settled down with him in his country.

Marrying a foreign man was not my intention at all. In the past I worked in an internet cafe, I saw a colleague of mine constantly talking to a person she called 'online' friend'. Out of my curiosity, I enrolled myself on a dating site. A man wanted to get in touched with me. I was almost half of his age. I was twenty-two that time. It just did not work out. I could get along with him, and a lot of differences between us. He was too mature to me physically and mentally. While I was in the stage of maturity development.

Some Filipino women are using online dating sites to look for someone to love and be loved. I have known some women and friends who got married to someone they met over the internet. There were few though who failed and were unable to find the right person for them.

Finding Mr. Right online.
Mr. Right can be anywhere. He could be at the bar staring at you waiting for the perfect moment to approach you, or the person who snores next to your ear at the airplane during your flight. However, finding Mr. Right online can be risky. You would think that the first person you met online can be the right one for you. While you are deeply in-love with him imagining to settle down with him, you just found out that he is not ready yet to marry you. You are not looking for Mr. Right online. You are looking for Mr. Commitment. A guy who is ready to be committed.

Dating online is difficult to deal with. Especially when talking to someone who is half the globe away from you. One of my customer visited the cafe at around twelve midnight so as to talk to her fiance. I can really see how happy they are despite of the distance between them. That moment, I wondered, what can someone do in order to keep the relationship growing?

Advantage and Disadvantage.
When my husband and I, were still friends, I remember he asked me a question which I always have it in my mind. "What are the advantages and disadvantages of the Internet?". I told him that, I see no disadvantage about online dating. That time I felt like taking a pop-up quiz. I was speechless and I could not think promptly how to answer his question. He told me that, the advantage is to meet people and learn their behavior even online, get to know them better, become friends, or lovers. The disadvantage is to fall in-love with someone online. A situation that is hard to deal with. How do you express it online when you are in love? I understand the point of my husband, and I sense it that he was afraid to fall in-love online.

Online dating might be the easiest way to find the man you would love and to love you back. However, it is not easy to grow with it. Expressing love online is somehow frustrating. When you want to express it with a kiss or hug, you look definitely hilarious doing the gesture in front of the camera.

In my own experience, I was hesitant when my boyfriend told me to visit him in his place. A lot of things run to my mind. What if he will not like me? What if he will dump me? What if he will not pick me at the airport? A lot of what 'if's' questions. When he finally decided to visit me in the Philippines another 'what if' arise! What if he will not come back? What if he will no longer talk to me after meeting me? And so on. None ending questions.

Love online is easy to find, yet hard to make it work. A lot of hesitations and doubts which draw your feelings to disappointment. If you are strong enough to try LDR short for Long Distance Relationship, then try it. Love is always accompanied with hurt. So when you fall in-love on-line, do not expect too much and be strong.
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